I have reached a stage where I officially care what people think of me. I care about the snickers, the whispers and the outright laughs. I am human. As humans, we begin to wonder am I good enough? am I relevant? will I get turned down? would anyone miss me? And as humans, our answer is a constant, drowned out 'no'. We believe that we are constantly inadequate, regardless of what those closest tell us.

I have cut all ties. I have emotionally removed myself from all of my relationships. I have said my last I love you's and I hate you's. I have acknowledged that which needed acknowledgement. I have let go of anything that I would usually later catch myself hung up on. I have released all of the emotion that I find unneccessary. I have given up.

I dedicated five years of my life to commitment and participation, and now I wonder what for. Because the friends don't care, the friends are out to win it for themselves. It's a dog eat dog world, each man for himself. Noone is your friend when it comes to competition. Everyone uses others as a stepping stone to the top. And 'what for' you ask? To have that title, the one that seems like everything in high school, the one that seems as though it will give you glory forever, the one that makes you think you've found the cherry for every cake you've ever made, what title?


I ask you, who was the 2006 college captain of our school? I bet none of you know. She thought it was the be all and end all of everything, but she left no legacy, we're one year past and we don't even know her name. Think about it. Think about all the sacrifices that you don't need to make.

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