The beginning of the beginning

I was oh so young. I was so ready for someone to be everything. I was so enthusiastic to give my self. Noone had anyone but I wanted to start something. I thought about it all day and all night. I dreamt up a wonderland. One that was potentially impossible.

The middle of the beginning

A friend met a boy. A boy who was perfect. I gave up, and I thought that would be where my story would end. But I watched on with envy, oh so keen. I watched her watch him watch me watch him and I never felt not even a speck of guilt. I claimed hate, reckless hate. He knew the truth. They ended and I took him.

The end of the beginning

He asked me to be his and so I was, all his. Day in and day out with no awareness of yesterday, today or tomorrow. He said he loved me and I said I loved him too. He said can I have you, and I said you already do. We started like an Earthquake, completely unexpected and destroying people's lives.

The beginning of the middle

I never saw another soul. I watched the world through a key hole and acknowledged nothing unless it was to him. I ended it over and over again. He never knew what to want. I didn't care, I wanted him and I wanted him to realise that. I struggled just to make him pull me back. And he did, bless his soul.

The middle of the middle

We were high as high, we were all that. Romantic home cooked dinners by his pool and a silver chain to show his caring. A silver chain asking for more than I could give. he said that was fine. He took me upstairs and we made out all night in his king single listening to Angus and Julia. We were perfect.

The end of the middle

We became content and lazy. We stopped making effort. I stopped being committed and he stopped caring. He started looking for more and I started looking for less. There was not a lot which could save us. There was a hole of space that we didn't know how to fill. We didn't care to try and find one either.

The beginning of the end

He found someone else, he packed up his shit and left. It hurt more than I thought it would. I was sad inside and out. I was hurting all over my body. He still didn't know how to care. He was wrapped up in the beginning of the beginning of a new romance. I was stuck in the end of an old one. I found a temporary replacement who I gave everything to as if it would make the pain go away. It still hurt for years afterwards.

The middle of the end

Him and the other girl reached the end of their end pretty quickly and he came running back pretty fast. I gave him everything and told him he owned it, he never knew any better. We ended and started over and over and over again. A few replacements here and there but never anything that could bring upon the end of our end. We were forever stuck in this limbo, waiting for our end.

The end of the end

We're still fucking waiting.

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