Habits. It's funny isn't it, how I so willingly prepare myself to fall back into old habits. Loneliness creeps out of my soul and through my skin and settles all around the house. The darkness swallows the desire and happiness. It throws out the needing and shadows. They follow me around and I can't help but scream in a tune. The stars were ripped from the sky and planted in everyone elses eyes. Heart beats stop for a millisecond for you, but hours for me. The stars and the moon have all been blown into a black hole, I am in the dark. I can't escape. I am so ready for you, hero, to come and save me. I can't hold onto myself anymore, I must let go. I am frail. I am scared. I am young. I am naive. I am vulnerable. I am sick. I am yours, forever unwillingly. I run and run and run and run and run, but I can't escape you because you linger somewhere, like a candle immune to breath. If I could choose, I would never choose you. You were chosen for me. To kill me slowly and painfully. You eat away bit by bit, even in your absence. I can't lose him, I can't lose you. You both don't need me. You both have someone better. I want to deserve better. I want you back. But I don't. I won't see you tomorrow. Happy NOT 3 years for then baby

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