He fucked me in a fur coat. In a room full of lava lamps. In a new way, like the old way.
STOP. Because you can. Because you don't know who you are. Fucking is a bad way to find out who you are. It can lead you away from who you're meant to love and towards who you're meant to hate. It can tear families apart, relationships and individuals. When did we become a people of one night stands? When did 12 year olds become promiscuous? When did it become okay to fuck someone else's lover? And why the fuck is it something to be proud of? It is something else entirely to love someone, it's a whole other feeling inside you and a whole other fear. You can fuck ANYONE. But that doesn't mean you should. You can easily fall into the wrong person and then they begin to influence who you think you are. But they're wrong, so wrong. But I'm sure they're lots of fun and the perfect temporary fix. Selfish and unhappy are two different things. I've been thinking about this for a long time and I have been manipulated are two very different things. We all need someone to make us feel okay and amazing. Where we find that person can be harder than we ever thought. But we should never give up the hunt, we should never believe that we are that person for someone or they are that person for us, because it only ever ends in heart break. Unless you're sure, don't promise them anything. Don't fuck to find yourself. Don't lie to find yourself. Don't give up on trying to find yourself. You're probably right around the corner.