'Which point are you in the love triangle?'

I have been cheated on. But this was hurting on a whole different level. Because cheating is a funny thing, cheating is something I've never really understood. I just don't understand, if you want to be with someone else.. be with them. If you're not happy where you are.. leave. If you do it for fun.. you need help. Because I was a cheater, I was, this is true. I cheated and I loved it. I loved the jealousy in his eyes when he found out and how it only made him pull me closer, because it meant he knew he could lose me. He gripped tighter and tighter, and I did whatever I wanted. Because when you're out and you're drunk and you're a little bit naughty, it's nice to know that someone's going to care. It was 18 months on a leaky boat, as the trust slowly dripped out I sat back and watch it. Admired it from a distance without letting it effect me. Then it sunk. That fucking boat is at the bottom of the ocean, and do you understand how heavy one of those things is to lift back up? and even then you have to fix it and that's just impossible because it's damaged beyond repair. Anyway, the point of it is that I have been cheated on and I have cheated and they both end up hurting you. But nothing, nothing hurts as much as thinking you were cheated on but finding out that you cheated with someone. Because I wasn't number one, I was 'the other girl' when I thought I was 'the girl'.