'lieben'

My words jumped off the page and they danced on your skin, tempting and teasing. Those were the afternoons of voilent delights. Those were the endless fights. One war full of battles within battles. Nothing we could do or say could make them go away. We were fine, just fine, okay? The summer burned our skin and the winter froze our toes but we stayed strong through them both. Nothing could prepare me for that spring, the flowers grew tall and the trees filled themselves with blossom. I died that spring. You took the gun and she was the bullet. You shot her right at me, right in my back. The world was flooded with happiness and the lovers retreated in eachothers arms. I couldn't see it, locked away in my room hidden under the blankets in silence. They came and they told me that the Earth was still spinning and the sun was in the sky. I couldn't bare to believe them, I was dead. My head spun and my stomach dropped for weeks. When you ended, the two of you, I thought I was back to life. I decided to brave the world, I grabbed it by the horns and lived it. I had you back, I had you where I needed you. You said you loved me, but you'd told her the same thing. Then you were gone again, and that was when I knew I hadn't been alive, I was still dead. Because if I had been alive it would've hurt again, but instead I just felt empty, the same. Dead. You told me tonight that you never loved her, you just thought you did. Maybe when you said you loved me, maybe you meant it. I bet you did. I love you.