To the monster under my bed, you are the skeleton in my closet. My nails are brittle from holding to the edge so tightly. Have you ever wondered how it would feel to let go of the one thing you’ve held so close to you all this time. I was so scared. I closed my eyes, screwed up my face and gripped as tight as I could. I wouldn’t let go for the world. I needed you, wanted you. I needed you to want me so badly, you. I tried so many times to make you see the world through my eyes. The brutal honesty laid out on your table. No room for lies or mistakes, this is how it is and how it will be. I shake you and push you, try to make you see sense. But you’re gone, you’ve been sucked in and consumed by this whole other world; a world of guitars, cigarettes and not caring a bit. I wish I was like you, so uneasily amused. You are too good for the world. You walk streets like you own then and make everyone feel like specks. For the last few months your vocabulary has only consisted of ‘I’. Everyone see’s a different person. But to me you are you. You are the glue that keeps it stuck together and the secret that is holding me apart from the world. Here was what happened to me tonight though you, you’ll never believe it.. I stopped loving you. For so long I wondered how it would feel to lose you, but now I realise you were never really mine to lose. I hope you find someone who is enough, because I know I’ve never met anyone who will be.

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