We hold onto the good days so tightly. We hold your smile and laugh so close to our hearts. When I was a baby you sat very still to hold me. You could never break me then. You are perfect, you are jinxed. You've been sucked in and consumed by it all. You are Alice, in your own Wonderland. Knock knock, but you can't let anyone in. You asked me once what I thought I was before. I said maybe I was a fish. You said I was a bird and I was free, because I can't be now. If you were a bird, you said, if you were a bird I was your wings. Only once have I been half way to you and it will never let me that close again. Has it wounded you? Taken away your voice? Has is cut the world from you? Left you in silence? Here is what you used to do: You dance. Every part of you. Your hair, your hands, your feet. If I listen closely, I can hear your heart pumping the blood around your body, to your own beat. Here is what you have to do: Go to the park where we both ran away. Yell to the sky. Tell it your secret, that you're jinxed and not sick instead. Stand at the edge. Maybe your voice will come back to you, if we are all silent. Little sister, the night I broke.

Don't tell Dad

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