Benefit of the doubt

I could make a list of bad things you’ve done to me. I could roll off fifty things you’ve done that hurt me. I could tell you the name of every girl you’ve made me jealous with. I could write down every thing you said to them or show you every photo with them. I could tell you the whole story of how you broke up with me and why. I could tell you about how empty and hurt I was without you. How sick it made me. How much I would cry when people asked about you. How much I wanted to kill her. I could tell you how much I wanted to die every time I thought about you. I could tell you all about how I never, not even for a split second, stopped thinking about you. I guess this is what makes it hard to believe you when you say you’ll always be here, you’ll always care and you’ll always love me, you promise.

You could make a list of bad things I’ve done to you. You could roll off fifty things I’ve done that hurt you. You could tell me all about the prison cell I kept you in. You could write a list of things I wouldn’t let you do. You could tell me the whole story of how much I pushed you away. You could tell me about how angry and frustrated I made you feel. How annoyed I could get you. How bad you would feel when people asked about me. How much I forced the two of you apart. You could tell me about how you much you wanted to die every time I stopped you from going somewhere, or seeing someone. You could tell me about how when you didn’t go you were thinking of me, not for a split second, yourself. I guess this is what makes it hard for you to believe me when I say I swear I’ve changed and I will do whatever it is you need for you to trust me again.

I guess what we’re both asking for, is the benefit of the doubt.

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